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with every order.
Behold the Crippler Custom Chronic Blend! This legendary cat treat is a secret blend of the most powerful organic catnip strains in the world. If catnip was the bible, this is the Book of Revelations. Our super potent sweet leaf nip’ packs up to 5 times the nepetalactone content as ordinary “store bought” catnip. This is the catnip your cat’s mother warned it about, and it’s in stock and ready to ship!
Please bear in mind that catnip this good is ONLY intended for good kitties, and if you’re pet has been guilty of even the slightest behavioral infraction in recent history, it arguably does not deserve organic catnip this potent and fantastic, however, the choice is yours. What you need to understand is that beneath your cats happy go lucky exterior and occasional loving meow, beyond its quiet, loyal, and subtle demeanor, your cat is seeking something; your cat has a dream. A dream that has danced in its head since it was just a baby kitten; it wants, to just once, experience the greatest catnip in the history of the world. Your cat wants the Chronic. This is a secret dream that all cats share, one that sadly too often goes unfulfilled, mostly because cats do not know how to use a computer. However for those lucky few cats, a loving human has set forth a chain of events that will change their lives forever. A legendary organic catnip blend has been ordered on their behalf, and is now scheduled for delivery at the very house in which they live. And when that telltale package is opened, kitty eyes will well with tears as once fuzzy fantasies become clear and feline emotions will run rampant as many animals are simply overcome with joy. Some cats are even left completely speechless.
When cats sleep, they think of the chronic. When the elder cats speak, they speak of the chronic. When your cat purr’s, it is really trying to ask you to order our purr-ticularly potent chronic catnip blend. Is it not time for you to start listening?
$12 bucks delivered to your door, shipping included, the legendary crippler catnippler™ custom chronic pure strain organic catnip blend! MEOWSERS! That’s good nip!